Before I pontificate on the main subject of this post, I want to clear up something about the acronym “LMG”. It definitely does not (as my son has informed me) stand for “light machine gun”, even though now he just showed me the wikipedia entry confirming this. I would encourage the reader to remember what the LMG said in his last post – specifically, that “LMG” stands for the esteemed Lazy Mans Guru. nuff said.
The LMG has several easy to remember postulates about software installations:
1. Do not expect any software install to just “work”. Software is designed by a tribe of mean elves who live in the shadow of the Kun Lun mountains. The savvy reader will remember that’s pretty close to where the LMG hangs out. Every time there is a major software release he sees these elves “gettin jiggy wit it” for a couple of days.
2. All software is designed to manipulate the psyches and emotions of the unenlightened (by LMG) computer user (referred to henceforth as “CU”). The cycle proceeds thusly: CU thinks he (or she) will be getting something. CU installs software. CU “gets” something… but that “something” is a BIGF’NHASSLE. The out-of-wack brain waves of CU are picked up by the mean elves receivers , and the party rocks on…
3. This cycle repeats over and over again as more software is installed. Each time the CU forgets what happened the last time and somehow believes this next time will be different. The LMG calls this cycle, “stupid hope”.
4. The only way out of this cycle is to completely give your mind, body, and soul to the LMG, and specifically to send him $199 before each software installation. It will be well worth it. Do not hesitate.